This morning, after walking Thing 1 to his classroom, Thing 2, Sam-I-Am and myself continued on to her classroom. Typically, the routine is walk to classroom, drop off bag, disappear onto the playground after a 2 second "BYE MOM!". But this morning was different. Thing 2 was clingy. So Sam-I-Am and I hung out for a bit asking her random questions about playground etiquette. "What's up with the swings? Oh, they're wet in the mornings. What is the game they're playing over here, it looks like tag. No, we're not allowed to play tag anymore because people were complaining about falling down and then this one kid scratched his face on the ground after this bigger kid tagged him hard and he fell down, so then the teachers said no more tag. That's called Scramble. (Insert 4 minute explanation that essentially sums up to the same thing as tag)."
While she was talking I was observing other parents walking kiddos to classes, some parents joining in the games on the playground, but one-sunglass-wearing-on-a-dark-cloudy-day couple and their young son were just standing there, looking confused. A group of girls around Thing 2's age had now also noticed this family and were standing in front of the young son asking questions. One of the girls then turned our way and yelled for Thing 2 to join them. Thing 2 ignored them at first, but then the girls came running over to Thing 2, exclaiming "Come meet the new kid! You aren't the only one! He's new too!". Thing 2 broke out into a big smile and ran over with the girls to meet the new kid. She introduced herself and was attempting to ask him what class he was in, when his mother struck:
"Oh, he's not in your class. He's much younger than 2nd grade. He's in Kindergarten." she said in the rudest, most irritated tone I've ever heard. And then she promptly turned her back on Thing 2 and her friends.
I had started walking over as Thing 2 introduced herself, so I got to hear the whole conversation and witness the verbal smack down of these young girls by someone who's supposed to be building children up and encouraging children to take chances as all parents should be. Seeing the girls confusion and hurt plainly written all over their faces, I said "See Thing 2, there's all kinds of new kids: Kindergarten New Kids, 1st Grade New Kids, 2nd Grade New Kids...." and so on. By the time we got to 3rd Grade New Kids all of the girls were chiming in and hadn't noticed that we were walking away from the other mommy. I heard Dad say something along the lines of "You didn't have to be so rude, they were just trying to say hi" and could only imagine the look that was shot to him by the mommy.
Fortunately, the girls recovered quickly and after a discussion regarding how Sam-I-Am did, in fact, decapitate Thing 2's American Girl Doll (which incited hysterical laughter...strange.), all of the girls disappeared off to the playground, with no apparent lasting damage by the other mommy.
As Sam-I-Am and I walked home, I fumed about other mommy and her complete lack of manners and appreciation. How does an adult talk to a group of children like that in an environment of children? Hello! You're at school with a child! Your child is visibly nervous. He's overwhelmed. He keeps looking like he wants to go play. He smiles as other children approach. He's looking to you to determine how to react. You just taught him to attack those who try to reach out to him. You just taught him that for some reason, he's different than those kids, he can't be bothered by them. In a 1 minute speech, you, Other Mommy, just set the tone for how he learns to react to other children. I fumed about how I was thinking, as I was walking over and before you opened your mouth, I wanted to reassure you about how amazing this school is. How this was the easiest transition we've ever made. How the staff is incredibly welcoming. How I can't recommend this school enough. But yah, then you opened your mouth. I fumed about how I haven't really been able to make mommy friends at this school because they're just different than I am: they were raised together, they're older, there's just a difference that I haven't been able to identify, and how I was attempting to reach out so that maybe someone else doesn't have to feel like I do, only to be word smacked along with the girls.
But then I remembered the girls. And I remembered how a minute after they're verbal smackdown, they were off laughing and playing and not scarred for life.
Luckily for Thing 2 and the girls, they were able to shake off your conversation and will hopefully not let it deter them from reaching out again. Because everyone should be welcomed as excitedly as they tried to welcome him.
Even if their mommy is rude.
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