The kiddo's brains have started Spring Break this week, even though their actual Spring Break doesn't begin for another week. In their defense, now is the usual time of Spring Break, but their new school starts later in the year, therefore Spring Break is later than they're accustom to. Anywho, essentially what this means is they've got stupid. I love them. But they've just gone stupid this week.
Homework has become a 3 hour long process, that until last week was maybe a 45 minute process. There's CONSTANT redirection orders being issued by me. Things are left half done, an example: a responsibility of Thing 2's is to sweep the bathroom (she's also responsible for emptying the bathroom trashcan which seems to leak through the bathroom, hence the sweeping), to do this she neatly stacks trashcan, toilet brush, and yucky plunger on top of closed toilet, puts rugs in tub and then sweeps. She's been doing this for weeks. Last night, I go to walk through bathroom and the broom is in the middle of the floor, next to an ill formed pile of dirt, with the rugs & bathroom equipment piled on the toilet. Insert sigh and screech for Thing 2. Thing 2 appears, surprised that I'm irritated. Finishes said responsibility. I walk into kitchen and find Thing 2's bookbag and paraphernalia scattered all over table, floor, living room floor, etc. Sigh. Thing 2 walks into kitchen, past me, past mess, goes to desk and continues to work on artwork. Thing 1 is bouncing from homework to chasing Sam-I-Am to throwing a ball in the middle of the living room to randomly asking questions about the weirdest of topics.
Basically no one was listening to anything I had to say, doing anything they were supposed to be doing, or finishing anything they started and were completely oblivious to my impending explosion.
And it was driving me INSANE. I was exhausted. I was tired of talking. I was tired of not losing my cool. I was just done. I was ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to run for the hills.
But I was trying to press on and not to tap in The Husband. He had a *fun* day at the VA during a surprise interrogation type appointment. And to make matters worse, he had an MRI scheduled for yesterday evening. He hates MRIs. Not only for the small space, but also for the fun sounds the machine makes while it's running and how it messes with his TBI messed up sense of balance. Plus he was trying to track an error with an expense report for work so while he wasn't being interrogated at the VA, he was wading through his emails trying to figure out what happened to his travel expense pay and how to fix it, while juggling work meetings and whatnot. Total overload. I knew he was tired, irritated, agitated and was desperately trying to withdraw from the insanity of it all at the coaxing of PTS. I didn't feel it was fair to say "Oh hey, yah, so I know you spent the day reliving stuff you'd rather just not talk about it and had your injuries interrogated and then you got stuck in a machine for 30 minutes, but here are these kids that have gone stupid and you need to put them in bed, have patience with their normal bedtime routine, and not lose your temper with them. Good luck!"
And then I had to check Thing 2's room to confirm it was as clean as she was claiming it to be for the 7th time today. I discovered she'd just put everything that was a mess under her covers instead of away and found myself reaching for my keys and shoes, in my head.
I turned to The Husband and with all the strength I had left I said "Okay, I'm sorry, I know you've had a crap day, but I just can't. I tried. I failed. They win. I'm done. Please help." And then the most amazing thing happened.
He helped. He didn't sigh. He didn't yell. He didn't threaten them (except for the whole piano lesson thing with Thing 1 but that's a whole different rant). He got them in pjs. He put them to bed. He patiently went through the whole routine.
Then he crashed and burned on the couch. It took every last ounce of energy and perseverance he had, but he got it done.
He's my hero. He's starting to come into the whole partnership aspect of parenting and patience, the caring and understanding side of him is coming through, the barking orders guy is starting to subside. Whoo!
My hope that he can overcome these beasts of TBI/PTS, not let them win when he has a bad day, is renewed. I know that to others putting the kids to bed is a simple task and almost an expectation of a parent/partner, but to someone who has a short fuse, irritability, etc, it's an EXHAUSTING experience under the best of circumstance.
And as an added bonus the kids are still alive :)
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