After high school, I really struggled with what to do with my life. The majority of friends were headed off to college and while I felt like I needed to also go to college, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I decided to grow up. So, I spent some time in community college trying to figure that out and really didn't have much luck.
Then life happened.
Insert 12 years (SERIOUSLY?!?!? 12 YEARS!!!...ok, deep breath) and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have come to terms with that though because I'm really excited about my current life opportunity--I'm a mom. Yes, I know you know this, but I didn't realize that that's my "dream job" until the other day. I know, having children, raising a family, beautiful gift--it's also the beautiful gift that had a surprise blowout diaper tonight that I still haven't gotten over yet.
I've always known that I enjoy helping other people, but not in a social worker kind of way (I'm a bit too "oh get over yourself" for that job). So, that's part of the reason I really do enjoy doing FRG (Family Readiness Group for non-army peeps). Yah, I actually said I like doing FRG. *gasp* Don't call the looney bin just quite yet. I like giving people the same resources that at some point someone else gave me. I like teaching them how to fix their problem because, well, they're not always going to have a functioning (and by functioning I mean information flows down...) FRG. Anywho, I've also noticed the more comfy I get in my mom role with my kiddos, the better I am about handling all kinds of different Army life moments. Not that I'm comparing wives to my children. I'm just saying that I think you gain confidence in your ability to handle all kinds of different situations with each year that your child grows older.
So the other day, something really bad happened and I found myself channeling my mom-ness while also being in FRG worker and friend mode. And it occurred to me later that being a mom isn't a job, it's who I am, at the depth of my being, I'm a mom. I comforted friend, I asked if she'd eaten, I checked to see what her next step was and yes, those are all things that you learn in some of the training, but it was like I wasn't pulling that from the training as much as I was pulling it from my "mom-ness". I wish I could explain that better.
I think what I'm rambling around to is that for me, being a mom has given me this insane amount of confidence. And while it doesn't necessarily provide me with any paying job opportunities, it makes me better at the jobs that mean more then a paying job...being a volunteer. For the longest time, I've really struggled with feeling inadequate on some level because I don't have a college degree. I've been made to feel like I'm less of a person because of it. But at the end of the day, when everything falls apart or when something truly awful happens, having a college degree doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter to my kids. It hasn't mattered to the FRGs that I've lead. And I'm fairly certain it didn't matter to the friend who I had the great opportunity to be there for.
Now this isn't a "I'm anti-college post"...I will get my college degree...someday. I think I'll go when the kids go. By that time, Army Guy will be about done with Army and I'll actually be able to hang out at one university for the duration of my degree completion time. What a novel concept!
But in the meantime, I trust that God's got a plan (I've got faith coming out my ears...), He puts me in the places/jobs that He needs me in and I'm along for the ride...being a mommy to EVERYONE along the way :)
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