Three weeks ago I realized Thing 1 and Thing 2's chore plans weren't working and I'd tried all of the 'recommended' plans. The sticker plan was an epic fail from the beginning as they would sticker their own charts when they thought their chores were done..no matter where I hid the stickers. The "I'll pay you" plan didn't work as they'd already purchased every $5 and under toy that the PX had to offer and they didn't really understand why I wasn't willing to drive 2 hours to help them spend their $5. The "they can just live in their own squalor" plan worked until something started to smell from their rooms. The "you have responsibilities and we work as a team and I'm your mom not your maid speech" method incited more questions ("what's a maid?" "but aren't moms supposed to clean up?" "what's a responsbibity?" "at school we have rules, are these like new rules?" "are we like a soccer team, because one time I was on a soccer team but I didn't like it" and so on...) and didn't work either. The "nag them until you're screaming and they're crying" plan just wasn't working as effectively as I'd hoped. So I got desperate.
Desperate enough to make them earn their screen time. I know, I know, it's borderline insanity and I actually thought about having myself committed, but then I realized if I did have myself committed, I'd just have an even nastier mess to come home to.
So I went to Pinterest (and if you don't know what Pinterest is, let me just tell you it's like Mommy/Wife/Life crack and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone...so if you need an invite, just let me know) and searched for a cutesy chore chart idea. Found the best idea of making one on cute paper and then putting it in an empty picture frame essentially making it a dry erase board. Brilliant. I'd already done years of research in age appropriate chores and felt fairly confident in knowing what kiddos could do, couldn't do and I didn't want them doing. So, I decided to put some of the things that they had on their previous charts: make bed, brush teeth, brush hair, clean room, etc., but I also left off some and added others such as clean toilets, wipe bathroom counter tops, all those things that I despise doing. And then I sat them down for the talk.
I explained to them that we had a new system for chores. Their chore list was explained to them with little resistance and even a bit of excitement from them. I explained I was no longer going to nag them, but I might occasionally remind them of their chores. And then I dropped the bomb. "You will have no screen time during the week, unless it's required for school. Doing your chores during the week will earn you weekend screen time. If you decide not to do your chores during the week, you will not have weekend screen time." Mouths dropped, gasps were made, and their new reality was accepted. Of course there were questions "what happens if? is a leapster a screen? but we still get the movie in the car right? does the Kindle count as a screen?" The next day, we began our life without a screen.
The first week went surprisingly well. Thing 1 and Thing 2 were very good about doing their chores everyday. They played together when their chores were done. They never whined about not having a screen. It.was.amazing! I felt soooo victorious. The evenings were smoother. The house was quieter and louder all at the same time. Things were good. They earned their screen time for that weekend and all was good and right in the world.
The second week, wasn't as smooth, but it wasn't bad either. There were some gentle reminders and some days where not all of the chores got done. Some of that was due to time management, some of that was because we just didn't get to it. But there was significant attempts at getting everything done, so they earned their screen time and all was right in the world.
The third week has been an epic fail kind of week. Right now, I couldn't find Thing 2's floor if I tried. Thing 1's resorted to stuffing things under his bed. His plan of doing his "read for 30 minutes" chore at bedtime didn't work all week because he was asleep before he'd finished reading. There were major issues with doing homework with both of them. No one wiped counters. Basically, no one seemed to want to do their chores, even after being reminded of the consequences. So here we are on Saturday and they've lost out on screen time for the weekend. Which is doubly sucky for them (and who are we kidding, everyone else in the car) because we'll be driving 4 hours tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.
While I'm currently a bit frustrated with their behavior right now, I'm sticking to my guns and not giving up. I've loved how not insane our evenings have been. I loved how the tv wasn't the most important part of their evening. I loved watching them play Go Fish with Phase 10 cards and their own rules. I loved how less stressful everything was because I didn't have to pry them away from a screen. I loved how many random questions they come up with. I loved how much they went outside to play. So, yah, it's not a perfect plan, but it's the plan that's worked the longest. Ha!
**Disclaimer: I do watch tv during the day while they're at school. And I did implement this plan while The Husband was out in the field, so that I didn't have to argue with him about it. :) **
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