Welcome Home ArmyGuy

Army Guy is officially done with the WORST DEPLOYMENT EVER (and from this point on, it shall be known as that...but you have to say it all echo-y to get the best effect). We're waiting on orders to be 110% done with this stage in our life, but being stateside is one step closer to that. And I'll take every inch I can get. We knew he was coming home over a week ago, but didn't make a huge announcement about it. Partly because I didn't actually believe it. But mostly because he's coming home all by himself--the unit isn't coming in for a bit and part of our old unit will be coming in even later then that. Add onto that, friends who's husbands just left or are leaving in the next 30 days, it just didn't seem right to shout out to the world "MINE'S HOME!!! AND EARLY!!!". And I try to not beat myself up with Army Guilt because even though Army Guy is home early, there's a decent chance that he'll get into this program that will have him back out the door in 90 days-ish for a short school and then deployed again. I'm choosing the Ostrich Method of coping with that. It's been successful so far, but I digress. Anywho, so there will be those who say "you know every deployment is different, and you should be glad he's home and you should shout it out to the world" and there will be those who say "you suck.". And I feel both sides of that.

Then there's this whole other side. A somber side, that I don't like to wrap my brain around but I'm going to go there all because of a show on Lifetime...damn Lifetime. Tonight is the premiere of "Coming Home" a show where soldiers surprise family members upon their return from deployment. Lots of tears. Lots of happiness. Lots of smiles. Our current post is seeing a lot of returning soldiers and so Lifetime camped out for a while filming some of the soldiers returns and whatnot. From what I understand, you had to apply to be on the show and then it went from there. And I'm 100% that those who applied and got selected are glad that they did it, but for me, "Coming Home" is a bit much. And Army Guy's homecoming made it a bit much for me.

See, Army Guy didn't really have set plans for a return--it was pretty much "here's your release, good luck..." The first flight out of county was a Hero Flight, a flight with a Fallen Soldier. So while my Army Guy is bouncing out of country early, there's a family somewhere getting the worse news ever. He said it was an incredibly somber flight for all on the plane...rightfully so. Then his entry point into the States was at Dover where they were performing 3 Dignified Transfers on a Saturday. 3 Fallen home for in an unanticipated way. 3 families who had visions of different welcome home ceremonies/events. 3 families who don't get the Lifetime opportunity.

When we went to pick Army Guy up from airport, I didn't tell the kiddos who we were picking up, I just said I had a friend flying in late. My usually insanely inquisitive kids didn't seem to ask too many questions-"have we met your friend before, where is your friend staying, why can't your friend be here before 10:30pm?". I answered as vaguely as possible and off we went to pick up "my friend" from the airport well after their bedtime. And so in an effort not to tip the kiddos off, we waited patiently (some more then others...cough*Thing2*cough) by baggage claim. And I recorded the kiddos with my camera in an attempt to capture the fact that I could actually surprise them. So as people finally start coming down the escalators, I see boots. And then ACUs. And I'm watching kiddos who are watching the same boots and ACUs and not having any reaction to them and I start panicking. "Crap! What if the kids don't recognize him? What if they're all like 'oh hey dad, we're waiting on mom's friend...' What if they say 'Dad! Why are you home?'" and at just that moment, Thing 1 recognizes it's Army Guy, yells "DADDY!" and takes off and I just laughed and for a brief moment we were the only ones in the airport.

So I sit down tonight to watch "Coming Home" in excitement because well I want to see how we, Military Peeps, are going to be presented to the rest of the world. I want the world to see us during one of our most happiest times. I want the world to know that while our life is hard, it's rewarding. And then the dryer let me know it was done. Sigh. So while I'm folding laundry in the laundry room, I'm listening to the show still on in living room and am a sobby mess. Thankfully Army Guy is snoring on the couch as he is a "why are you crying at the tv" kind of guy. After finishing the laundry, I start "Coming Home" all over again and get about 5 minutes into it when I realize while it's a good premise for a show and I'm insanely glad Lifetime is presenting it, I don't think I'll be watching it after all. Because for as much as I want the world to see us during our most happiest times, I also want that to be MY moment. OUR moment. Not me, Army Guy, kiddos and a camera crew of 30 with an eventual broadcast to millions. That's our special time. That's my time to be big strong and sniffly because Thing 1 recognized his Dad and ran through a crowd of people without even looking twice, because Thing 2 gave her Dad a giant hug and then promptly reminded him that she needed hinges for a project they worked on over R&R, and because Sam-I-Am smiled big and laughed with the other kiddos when her Dad took her pluggie away. Those are MY moments. OUR moments. OUR memories.

But those are also moments that I never once take for granted. Those are moments that I know I'm lucky to have. Those are moments that I know families of Fallen Soldiers would give anything to have and that makes those moments all the more precious and private to me.

Even if we are standing in the middle of a crowded airport.