The Reality of Being a SAHM..

Once Upon A Time, there was a girl, who wasn't quite sure what she wanted to be when she grew up in the working world, but she knew she wanted a Prince Charming and a few Kiddos. She thought that she'd graduate high school, go to college, meet her Prince, get married upon graduation, work for a few years, have babies, work part time until babies became school age, then back to full time, retiring in time for grandbabies. All would be lovely in the land.

Then reality happened. College wasn't in the cards right after high school, went for a while, but couldn't figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, then The Husband entered the picture and the next thing I knew we were in the Army and off to see the world. Thing 1 was born in Germany and job opportunities for a young mom with a baby were slim, so I took it as a sign and decided maybe what I wanted to be all along was a Stay At Home Mommy (SAHM). I wish at this point someone had sat me down and said "look, you could sling mud at a cattle feedlot for 7 days straight and it would cleaner, easier, and less exhausting then being a SAHM". I did end up work full time while Thing 1 and Thing 2 were little while The Husband went back to school for Army. It wasn't all bad, but it was all exhausting. And, in hindsight, I'm not completely sure how I did it. I know I don't think I did it as well as I could've or should've, but we all survived. So when The Husband went back to Active Duty and we could afford for me to stay at home, I jumped on the opportunity.  

During our first ride on the Deployment-Go-Round, it was nice to not have to worry about my work schedule matching up with The Husband's random phone call times. I was available to him or the kiddos whenever they needed and it was nice to have the flexibility. However, I was volunteering a lot and so I was still constantly busy. And at some point, I thought "SAHM my butt, I put more miles on my vehicle now then I ever did working!". :) But I really did love the life. During our next duty station, I decided to take some time off from volunteering, to experience *just* the SAHM lifestyle. And not wanting to miss any aspect of it, I got preggo with Sam-I-Am. With Thing 1, I had horrid morning sickness, with Thing 2 I was working 12 hour days and honestly don't really remember much, but with Sam-I-Am, I slept. CONSTANTLY. So again with the constant exhaustion. At this point, I began to question those who said "oh being a SAHM, is super easy.", but I blamed pregnancy and moved on. Then we moved again, bought a house, dived ALL in on Army Life again and had a baby. Yay. Back to exhaustion...or maybe still. But during our Final Ride on the Deployment-Go-Round, I stopped volunteering, I told that particular unit of Army to suck it  drew back away from all things Army, and I got to be just a SAHM. Cue instant relief and no more exhaustion.

I'm still waiting to not be exhausted. 2 years later.

Those who say that SAHM's just sit around, eat bon-bons, run errands, and watch Lifetime should be beat within a half inch of their lives, then given at least 3 children that have the flu and one spouse who works more then 40 hours a week and told that if the children aren't happy, we'll start this whole process over again next week. So far today, I've had 3 different maintenance guys here for 5 different issues, I've been on the phone with two different techs at Verizon, and 3 different techs at Apple, I've showered, make-up'd, dressed myself,  dressed 1 toddler at least 3 times, fed 3 kids, sent 2 kids to school, taken 1 kid to the toilet every 30 minutes, found music files scattered over 4 different external hard drives, rationalized with a screaming toddler, yelled at one barking dog, poured a cup of coffee (though I'm not too sure of it's current location), helped a friend wade through Tri-Care's fussy department, made travel plans with the grandparents and fielded a "omg, this is so boring!" conversation with The Husband from the field. Oh, and I think I ate some oatmeal. I think. The bowl is empty, so by default? In 2 hours, the children will return from school and the insanity level will go even higher then it is right now and somewhere around the bewitching hour (4pm-ish), I will begin my internal countdown to bedtime. There will be food served, baths taken, books read, kids tucked in, threats of bodily harm if they don't go to sleep after their 4th trip downstairs, laundry started, dishes washed, laundry changed over and then somewhere around 9:30pm Bon-Bon time will arrive, assuming I went to the commissary to purchase them earlier in the day, which isn't looking too promising today.

And assuming that I'm awake enough to chew.