Miller's Fables: The World's Longest Cul-de-Sac

Several years ago, Army Guy had to go to this place called NTC (Fort Irwin-National Training Center) for some training before deployment. Army Guy was on Advon, so of course he got there early and had time to explore the place and report his findings back to me. His descriptions included words like "hell hole, just past no where, complete desolation, the most depressing place on the planet, horrid" and on and on.

Fast forward 5 years and we're living the dream at NTC.

When Army Guy was trying to pick the next step after the world's worst deployment, he was emphatic that he did NOT want to end up at NTC. Yes, it was the next logical step in Mech Land. For you non-Army peeps, there are two sides to Infantry: Light is just you in the fight--you, your gear, your guys, and your ego going from place to place, but Mechanized (Mech) is using vehicles (tanks, bradleys, MRAPs) in the fight--less egos and more team work. But, ummm, that's just my biased opinion. :) Anywho, so Army Guy was looking at all kinds of options, with the whole "anything but NTC" thought process. I, however, had NTC in the top 3. Mostly, by a less of 12 evils way, but still it was there. I had a friend who was recently at NTC and I knew the low-down from her, so it wasn't as nerve wrecking as some other ideas that Army Guy was entertaining--including recruiting, ROTC, and a super cool program that was deployment heavy. Three weeks later we learned that funding was cut for super cool program, and 2 days later we had orders for NTC. Army had spoken.

When you tell people you're headed to NTC you get 2 responses: "Oh, that sucks!" or "Oh, you'll love it". There is no in-between. At first, I thought it was determined if you'd actually been stationed there or not. Nope. Some of the people stationed here loved it, some hated, some had never been here and already they hated it and pitied us, etc. No rhyme or reason--but just "awww" or "ewww" was the response. A USAA rep told me of when he PCS'd here with his fairly new Italian wife, she started sobbing uncontrollable about 10 miles down Fort Irwin road and blurted out "you're taking me to out to the middle of nowhere to kill me! I've seen this in your American movies!" and she didn't believe that Fort Irwin existed until they arrived at the gate, 20 miles later. I was on the fence about NTC, but at that time, ANYTHING had to be better then the current unit, even if it involved living just left of Death Valley. So off we went...to the land of nothing.

We've been here for almost 90 days and I can say that I'm a proud member of the "Oh you'll love it" group.

Yes, it's in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. It's 30 miles off the interstate--it's the ONLY thing out here (hence the title). I had to take the cash-out option on all of moving damage because the moving company couldn't get a repair guy to drive out here. I'm 30 minutes from the closest town that has only 1 McDonalds and 1 Wal-Mart (and it's not 24 hours-nor grocery). I live 2 hours from what I deem civilization. Our post has a PX the size of our last post's housing shopettes. Our commissary can't seem to figure out that during rotation they need to order extra sandwich meat. There are 32 kids in my child's 4th grade class. Our post's Class XI (liquor store) doesn't sell a bottle of wine more then $10, very rarely has Samuel Adams in stock, and is located in a shopette that's about 10ft by 10ft. It's going to be 97 degrees today and it's September 20th.

But....

Everyone here is in the exact same boat. Most people here have embraced the suck. We're all out here in the middle of nowhere together. So we all work together. We met our neighbors within a week and by the end of the week our kids were out playing together and planning on walking to school together. Army Guy's unit here is awesome/hysterical/normal. His new commander is very down to Earth. He won my respect at our first team event--a picnic in the park, in which there were bounce houses for the kids, food for the adults, and a DJ and at no point did we have to contribute time, funds, or effort. But more importantly, he wore a Guinness t-shirt...no polo and dockers...just beer t-shirt and shorts. Definitely a welcome change. Army Guy's unit is all about traditions and codes--not uptight traditions/codes but things like when your truck has to get towed, you have to cover the numbers (which are at least 12" tall) with tape, so that no one can identify it as your truck and then spend the rest of the rotation teasing you about "your fallen Steed". Most importantly there's laughter--in the office, over the radio, etc and it's more common then uncommon. Rank isn't a "thing" here. Badges/Awards aren't a "thing" here. Your resume isn't a "thing" here. It's just you, your abilities, and your humor.

All of the people that I have encountered are quick to point out that yes, it does suck being this far out, but then they quickly point out all of the perks of being out here. 2 hours from skiing, 2 hours from AWESOME shopping, 3 hours from the ocean, 4 hours from San Diego, 3 hours from LA, 2-5 hours from gorgeous National Parks, awesome post programs--PWOC, AWANAs, SKIES, walking path, 2 Starbucks, etc.

And yes, Army Guy has a horrid work cycle--23 days a month of constantly working, 4 days a month of guaranteed time off, and then the rest is kind of hit and miss. But 90% of post has the same schedule. So it's just a fact of life--everyone is in the same boat. Everyone works together to get stuff done or cover down on each other. It's the most teamwork I've experienced since our time at Fort Bliss.

So, if you have the chance, embrace the suck and take the NTC option. Oh, and refine your online shopping skills because Lord knows you'll need them. :)